Paulie's Place - Increasingly Inevitable

Religion

2009-01-01T14:07:00.001-05:00

This is what the McCain campaign reminds me of

2008-10-31T11:58:00.002-04:00

We've got them right where we want them!

Let's just fucking vote already!!!

2008-10-30T11:44:00.000-04:00

Dirty words in American politics

2008-10-20T17:16:00.004-04:00

- Socialist

- Intellectual

- European

- Peace

- Muslim

- Elite

- Liberal

- France

- Atheist

- Diplomacy

- Same-sex marriage

- Gay rights

- Protect nature

- Arab

- Cut defense spending

- Raise taxes

- Hussein

Racism as a luxury

2008-10-18T01:20:00.003-04:00

So a canvasser goes to a woman's door in Washington, Pennsylvania. Knocks. Woman answers. Knocker asks who she's planning to vote for. She isn't sure, has to ask her husband who she's voting for. Husband is off in another room watching some game. Canvasser hears him yell back, "We're votin' for the n***er!"

Woman turns back to canvasser, and says brightly and matter of factly: "We're voting for the n***er."

more

Sean Quinn's "On The Road" stories are as much insightful as they are inspiring.

Drinking words for tonight

2008-10-15T15:58:00.005-04:00

Update:

"Joe The Plumber" of course! It's not always about you Joe, but tonight it was.

"My friends"

"Maverick"

"Tax cuts"

"The American People"

"Let me be clear"

"Doesn't understand"

"Can I be excused? I think I just pooped myself"

It's a good thing we don't have to drive anywhere tonight. Too bad I have to work.

Stop the demonization of Barack Obama

2008-10-07T12:53:00.005-04:00

Now that the Palin and McCain rallies are starting to look more like lynch mobs everyday let me just say this: should the unthinkable happen, they will have blood on their hands. The McCain campaign are feeding the crazies the fuel they need, and they are not toning it down. Yesterday when McCain asked "Who is the real Barack Obama?", an audience member shouted "Terrorist!" loud and clear. McCain obviously hears it, and does.. nothing.

The campaign is creating a climate of hate and fear in an obvious attempt to demonize Barack Obama. Should this name calling and random hate spewing lead to actual violence, the McCain campaign will be responsible. I hope the main stream media, (and not just Keith Olberman), will call them out on their dangerous tactics before this gets really out of hand. I know what I'm talking about, I've seen it happen before.

Education, we don't need no

2008-10-04T12:42:00.004-04:00

Why is education not an issue in the United States? I wonder, has it ever been?

This is a Gallup poll showing the priorities of the American voter:


	The economy	42
	The situation in Iraq	13
	Energy, including gas prices	13
	Health care	13
	Terrorism	12
	Illegal immigration (vol.)	1
	Abortion (vol.)	1
	Education (vol.)	1
	Other	4

By the way, this is one of the few polls I could find that actually lists education as a seperate subject. Most polls don't even mention education and just throw it on the "other" pile.

You see, it's right under abortion. Wait, what? Abortion is a bigger issue than education!?

..

Let me explain to you how this blows my mind. In The Netherlands, education is at least a 20% issue I estimate. Abortion hasn't even been a main stream issue since the 70's, and probably (hopefully) never will be again.

I know the comparison isn't entirely fair, because Holland has a parlimantary system with proportional representation, which means that political parties can set their own priorities and still end up with a good election result. For instance, you have the center-right liberal party (VVD) who has safety and immigration as their most important issues, a left-wing socialist party (SP) who care more about social security/health care and poverty, and even a Christian party (CDA) that sits more in the center of the political spectrum. (Note that abortion is not even an issue with the latter, showing how one religion can be so different based on how people choose to interpret it's fundamentals).

But you know what? Every single party makes education important. Parties do not get away by not having a laid out plan for what they want to do with the the educational system.

I do not fully understand why it's not imporant to people here. Usually when education is mentioned it's because the candidates are having a rally on a university campus. You don't hear it in the debates (or did I miss something?). If you do hear it, it's a one-liner such as "we need to make sure that every student can get loans to go to college"

It's amazing that this is where it is at: making sure that young people are able to start out their lives with a gigantic financial burden. Not making education more affordable, but making loans more accessible. Because borrowing money works out so well for the country, right?

A L S O

2008-10-03T13:22:00.005-04:00

This Palin woman is ridiculous, and people claiming she won the debate based on style are insane. Just listening to her makes me want to cut my fucking ears off (as a figure of speech of course).

"Ya know up therre in Aleskah dur dur dur dur"

I just can't imagine why some people find this preposterous accent appealing.

And then this "also" thing. What the fuck is up with randomly placing the word also in the middle and at the end of every single sentence she speaks? And also and also and also and also and also and also and also!!!! FUCKING ALSO. It's infuriating!

Here's what I'm talking about:

Thank you, Gwen. And I thank the commission, also.

And I've joined this team that is a team of mavericks with John McCain, also, with his track record of reform, where we're known for putting partisan politics aside to just get the job done.

One thing that Americans do at this time, also, though, is let's commit ourselves just every day American people, Joe Six Pack, hockey moms across the nation, I think we need to band together and say never again.

We need to make sure that we demand from the federal government strict oversight of those entities in charge of our investments and our savings and we need also to not get ourselves in debt.

Now, Barack Obama and Senator Biden also voted for the largest tax increases in U.S. history.

And I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also.

So affordability and accessibility will be the keys there with that $5,000 tax credit also being offered.

And we also have John McCain to thank for bringing in a bipartisan effort people to the table so that we can start putting politics aside, even putting a campaign aside, and just do what's right to fix this economic problem that we are in.

It is a crisis. It's a toxic mess, really, on Main Street that's affecting Wall Street. And now we have to be ever vigilant and also making sure that credit markets don't seize up.

That is not so, but because that's just a quick answer, I want to talk about, again, my record on energy versus your ticket's energy ticket, also.

There is something to be said also for man's activities, but also for the cyclical temperature changes on our planet.

We have got to encourage other nations also to come along with us with the impacts of climate change, what we can do about that.

But also in that "all of the above" approach that Senator McCain supports, the alternative fuels will be tapped into: the nuclear, the clean coal.

But I also want to clarify, if there's any kind of suggestion at all from my answer that I would be anything but tolerant of adults in America choosing their partners, choosing relationships that they deem best for themselves blablablabla

But in that tolerance also, no one would ever propose, not in a McCain-Palin administration, to do anything to prohibit, say, visitations in a hospital or contracts being signed, negotiated between parties.

We can start putting more troops in Afghanistan as we also work with our NATO allies who are there strengthening us and we need to grow our military.

And Maliki and Talabani also in working with us are knowing again that we are getting closer and closer to that point, that victory that's within sight.

I don't know how you can defend that position now but I know that you know especially with your son in the National Guard and I have great respect for your family also and the honor that you show our military.

And he shared with me his passion for diplomacy. And that's what John McCain and I would engage in also.

And Secretary Rice, having recently met with leaders on one side or the other there, also, still in these waning days of the Bush administration, trying to forge that peace, and that needs to be done, and that will be top of an agenda item, also, under a McCain-Palin administration.

We will support Israel. A two-state solution, building our embassy, also, in Jerusalem, those things that we look forward to being able to accomplish.

They succeeded with Egypt. I'm sure that we're going to see more success there, also.

But for those countries -- North Korea, also, under Kim Jong-il -- we have got to make sure that we're putting the economic sanctions on these countries and that we have friends and allies supporting us.

Can we talk about Afghanistan real quick, also, though?

The surge principles, not the exact strategy, but the surge principles that have worked in Iraq need to be implemented in Afghanistan, also.

That's not what we're doing there. We're fighting terrorists, and we're securing democracy, and we're building schools for children there so that there is opportunity in that country, also.

There will be a big difference there, and we will win in -- in Afghanistan, also.

But as for as Darfur, we can agree on that also, the supported of the no-fly zone, making sure that all options are on the table there also.

This is probably just half of them. I gave up. I'm going to cry now.

I mean, Spain?!

2008-09-27T11:29:00.005-04:00

I tried watching the first presidential debate through the eyes of someone who did not make up their mind yet. Obviously, in the end that turned out to be impossible. But I tried watching it objectively. During the debate I kept feeling that Obama was taking too much hits. As always, he was very gracious and friendly, but that approach didn't always work for him in the debates with Hilary. He did get some good jabs in last night, the most memorable for me:

And, John, I -- you're absolutely right that presidents have to be prudent in what they say. But, you know, coming from you, who, you know, in the past has threatened extinction for North Korea and, you know, sung songs about bombing Iran, I don't know, you know, how credible that is. I think this is the right strategy.

He even said the other day that he would not meet potentially with the prime minister of Spain, because he -- you know, he wasn't sure whether they were aligned with us. I mean, Spain?! Spain is a NATO ally.

But I was pretty sure media were going to announce McCain the winner. And most did. But the interesting part is that first CNN poll that came out (very quickly after the debate) showed that most viewers gave Obama the victory 51%-38%.

But perhaps as important: Obama won 62%-32% on the question "who is more in touch with the needs and problems of people like you".

CBS also shows Obama as the winner.

So I feel better about his performance now than I did shortly after it. I didn't think he did bad, but I do still believe he had more opportunities to "hurt" McCain. People remember the negatives more than positives. On the other hand, Obama could play it safe, he just had to make sure he could convince the doubters he knows what he's talking about when it comes to foreign policy.

McCain was very aggresive and at times angry and grumpy. Not once did he look Obama in the eyes, as if he was refusing to acknowledge that he shared a stage with him. It may have hurt him more than it helped him. I don't remember one answer that did not mention his opponent. In fact, he may have spend more time attacking Obama than explaining his own position.

From a Dutch perspective

This is not how debates are done in The Netherlands. Debates in the United States seem almost like a boxing match: whoever gets the most punches in wins. Political debates in The Netherlands are (usually) more like a game of chess. The debaters are allowed to take their time, and there's no 2 minute blocks or timers running in the background (I know, maybe the chess analogy wasn't the best, forget the timers ;). The winner is generally the most knowledgable person (or the person who comes off as most knowledgeable). The debates in the United States here are more entertaining to watch but it has more to do with marketing than actually gaining any knowledge. You don't usually learn of new stances or ideas.

That said, I look forward to the vice presidential debate. This should make for some great entertainment! The only trap for Biden is that the bar for Palin is now pretty much on the floor. The only thing she has to do to exceed expectations is show up and make English words come out of her mouth (forget comprehension, people already know that's out of her league) .

We shall see.

Five to nothing

2008-09-23T22:26:00.007-04:00

I've been doing a little polling myself around the block here in southern Ohio.

Sept 23rd.

McCain / Palin signs: 5

Obama / Biden signs: 0

Come on man, I know that this is a rural area and I have no hopes this miserable county will go with Obama, but zero signs? Statistically there should be 2. "Where's YOUR sign", you ask? Well I don't have a yard, so that doesn't help. Can't vote, can't put up a yard sign, and I can't convince anyone because that would involve people here to magically obtain the ability to reason. The only thing I can do is watch from the sideline and see the number of yard signs grow.

Primal instinct tells me to rip all these signs out of their yards, ritually burn them, and scream "I just did, Bitches!". But that's just because I don't have any reasonable way of explaining why people would still vote for an administration that raped them up the ass for eight years (and put up a sign to thank them for it). Seriously, what is wrong with republicans? Are they sadists? Maybe they are manufacturing an artificial Apocalypse to get to afterlife a little faster? I guess the latter would make the most sense to me. You know, since a large part of the GOP base consists of people who believe the collection of anecdotes and hearsay nonsense they call "The Holy Book" is actually, literally, the word of God. No wonder these people are immune to liberal concepts such as "reason" and "reality".

It's intensely frustrating to see this country go to waste. And I'm just a European, I shouldn't even care as much as I do. So I can't, for the life of me, imagine why there isn't more outrage at the current administration and the Republican party in general. Yes, a 30% approval rating for the president, an all time low. But still, that means 1 in 3 people who think it's all fine and dandy. When you look at the facts, and all the evidence is laid out, you just have to look at it, we should see anger of revolutionary proportions.

Instead, roughly 1 in 2 Americans are convinced that Father Time and Tina Fay are going to bring the change they deserve. Well people, it won't bring change, but McCain voters will surely get what they deserve. And then in 2012, when the US has officially become a second world country under the Palin administration, they will try their upmost to create an alternative reality in which they can blame "them leberals" again...and then...put up their goddamn yard signs!

Number obsession

2008-09-20T12:36:00.003-04:00

Ever since the Democratic primaries I've been getting more and more interested in polling numbers and statistics. To me, it's fascinating to follow this massive attempt to predict where the presidential race is heading. I've been getting familiar with terms such as margin of error, sample size, house effect, trend line adjustments, it's a world on it's own.

I've been following these numbers so closely that I have to keep reminding myself that there's only one poll that counts: the one on election day. Still, looking at numbers is suprisingly entertaining to me (and at times: nerve wrecking) .

There's so many pollsters out there at the moment that the best source for information on where the race stands are websites that weigh and average all the polls (poll of polls).

For raw information I suggest pollster.com:

pollster.com

Here you'll find every single poll that comes out during the day. They even have an RSS feed for the hardcore number junkies.

For an accurate poll accumulation and analysis there's nothing better than fivethirtyeight:

fivethirtyeight.com

Here they weigh polls based on their reliability in the past, adjust the data according to recent trends and what's most impressive to me: simulate the results 10,000 times based on the results of the projection to account for the uncertainty in the estimates. On top of that I also enjoy reading their background analysis.

One post I want to point out:

Tie Probability Continues to Increase

This has never crossed my mind until I saw it mentioned a couple of months ago: but a tie on election day is a very probable scenario. In case you don't know what happens should this occur: I have learned that members of the House of Representatives will choose the next president. Since it's almost certain that Democrats will have the majority of House delegations, this should be fun. On top of that, in 80% of the simulations where the result ends up in a tie the Republicans actually win the popular vote.

Can you imagine? The ultimate payback for 2000!

What Would Republican Jesus Do?

2008-09-19T16:16:00.004-04:00

I don't know who to credit for this, but whoever you are: funny.

Making a bet

2008-09-17T12:10:00.004-04:00

1. Wall Street plunges despite AIG bailout

2. From today's The Diageo / Hotline poll:

Who would do best job handling the economy?

Who would do best job handling national security?

1 + 2 = a Bin Laden / Al Qaeda video popping up in the upcoming weeks, or possibly even in the last week of October. Purely coincidental, of course.

What's wrong with this headline?

2008-09-13T13:44:00.003-04:00

Ike may or may not bring death. But you better watch out, because when it does bring death it's certain death, not just the possibility of death. It certainly may bring possible death, or it will almost certainly bring you close to being in a state of death. Either way, CNN certainly is full of shit.

Starting, again

2008-09-06T13:05:00.004-04:00

I've decided to start this old blog up again. Not so much because I care to contribute to social or polictical discussions. There's nothing I can say that hasn't been said before. It's more of a therapy thing I guess. It's a way of trying to maintain a form of sanity amidst this hurricane of idiocy that hits me right in the face when I turn on the TV, read the newspapers or even do something random like grocery shopping. I have a lot of anger in me because of it, so instead of punching (another) hole in the wall or running through the streets gently screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAH!" while furiously waving my fists above my head I thought writing would be the healthier choice.

Afghanistan?

2007-06-24T10:25:00.000-04:00

Or, Syria..or, whatever! We're CNN, we can do what we want!

What a great example of the lack of geographic knowledge by some..the sad thing is, apparently nobody at CNN or people viewing noticed! Either that or no one thought it was worth adjusting, since it aired a couple of times without any correction.

*sigh*

It's not even close for fucks sake!

'Aftershave drink' kills Russians

2007-06-15T17:57:00.000-04:00

Russian men are risking death by drinking aftershave and cleaning agents, a study has suggested.

UK researchers estimated that half of all deaths in working age men in the country are due to hazardous drinking.

The products, which also include herbal tinctures sold in pharmacies, are widely available, cheap and contain up to 97% alcohol, the Lancet study says.

Read more..

George Carlin - You Are All Diseased

2007-06-04T15:37:00.001-04:00

Yep, it's the whole show again. This is funny. No, it's not a matter of taste, I'm telling you this is fucking funny! If (for some odd reason) you don't think this is funny, you obviously have no soul.

Google Zooms In Too Close for Some

2007-06-02T08:44:00.000-04:00

Ms. Kalin-Casey, who manages an apartment building here with her husband, John Casey, was a bit shaken when she tried a new feature in Google’s map service called Street View. She typed in her address and the screen showed a street-level view of her building. As she zoomed in, she could see Monty, her cat, sitting on a perch in the living room window of her second-floor apartment.

More here.

Scattergories Meme.

2007-05-31T17:44:00.000-04:00

Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following... They have to be real places, names, things... nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Your Name:
Paul

Famous Artist/Band/Musician:
Prince

4 letter word:
Plow

Vehicle:
Plymouth

TV Show:
Pimp My Ride

City:
Philadelphia

Boy Name:
Pete

Girl Name:
Pamela

Alcoholic drink:
Pabst Blue Ribbon

Occupation:
Probation officer

Celebrity:
Pee Wee Herman

Food:
Pizza

Something found in a kitchen:
Pepper

Reason for Being Late:
Pregnant (get it, late for your period! haha, I'm clever ;)

* * *

This post brought to you by Paulie's girlfriend Sera Strawbridge because he is too lazy to update his own blog. Phhhtbbb =P

Dane Cook - Vicious Circle

2007-05-20T09:35:00.000-04:00

Yep, it's the whole show! So you better take your time to fucking watch it..man. Or not, I don't care really. All I care about is that I've updated my blog again for a change (in your face, me!).

I agree

2007-05-15T15:33:00.000-04:00

With inappropriatetouching.com.

This is the funniest video on the internet:

Well, finishing right after this one that is:

From another point of view

2007-05-01T15:51:00.000-04:00

For the shadow of the old tree

Is no more

The crying of wolves

Will forever sound

In our otherwise mute kingdom

And as the old man lectures

In his smelly pyjamas

We shall say nothing

But

Fuck you, Phil

I hope you get voted off American Idol tomorrow

I'm not dead

2007-04-30T15:02:00.000-04:00

I'm big boned.

Christian propaganda

2007-04-06T10:25:00.000-04:00

I'm somewhat amused by the religious advertisements in my Google ads on the left of the screen. I guess a lot of christian organisations had some money left over after helping the poor and needy so they decided to waste it on a scandalous online marketing campain. Yes, I know spreading the word helps people believe that they won't burn in the eternal fires of hell. But it makes you wonder if jebus is fond of this kind of brown nosing. This is not really the right place for preaching either. It's like being inside a modern day hospital while trying to convince a patient he can be cured by bloodletting. It's outdated, painful, of unproven efficacy, and does more wrong as it does good. And of course when the patient point this out and says "that doesn't seem very logical, I know for a fact there is better solutions around" he's frowned upon, if not made into an outcast, if not stoned to death for being such a blasphemer.

My peace I give to you.

South Park is back, Cartman beats midget 's ass.

2007-03-11T10:12:00.000-04:00

Season 11 of South Park started last week. The theme was based on the whole "nigger controversy" surrounding Michael Richards. To teach the kids about how the use of certain words are considered offensive to some people a midget (or "little person") gives a presentation about the subject at the Elementary school. Naturally, the message is lost when Eric Cartman first lays eyes on him. See for yourself, it's hilarious!

Update damnit!

2007-02-24T14:32:00.000-05:00

With the lack of updates on Maddox' best page in the universe I turn to other sources for funny rants about old people, kids, and other inferior creatures. The second best page in the universe for instance. He hates shit so much it's not even funny any more. Oh wait..yes it is! It's fucking hilarious! I can only agree on his analysis on the month February: it sucking fucks!

Which brings me to another honorable mention: Angry Video Game Nerd. The most vile, evil and ANGRY gamer in the world. Only if you're old enough to remember playing 8 bit pieces of donkeydickfuckingpigshit.

Psst, hey!..come here!

2007-02-18T15:15:00.000-05:00

Wanna buy Britney's hair? Is real I swear! You buy now, only 1 million dolla's! You pay cash yes? Is once in lifetime appa'tunity I swear! So you buy now, and you get free lighter and redbull can! Only 1 million dolla iis cheap, you make lots of friend with this! Please mister, is not for me: I need to buy foods for my poor families!

And people bid on Britney Spears' hair, Redbull can and lighter on Ebay. And the world shed another tear. Behold: the human race has reached another low. Idiots.

BeerMilk or..Bilk

2007-02-15T09:28:00.000-05:00

Found here through digg.

A liquor shop owner in Japan’s largest dairy farming region has stopped crying about local spilt milk and started making beer from it instead.

Why, you ask? Apparently milk consumtion has been going down hill in the land of the rising sun. So why not combine it with the worlds favorite alcoholic drink, sell it and make a lot of money? And he sure is making money: "Nakahara is currently out of stock due to heavy media attention".

Not sure how and if this would actually benefit your health. Bilk for breakfast? Beer and fucking milk?! Just thinking about it makes my bowels cringe.

Crazy pixel art

2007-02-09T14:43:00.000-05:00

All I can say is: holy wowing fuck! how much time was spend on this? Someone must explain to me how it is that some people seem to have so much more time to spend on pretty (yet useless) hobbies then I do. Right now the site is pretty slow, hopefully that will get better soon.

Click on the picture for more (a LOT more, be warned).

Download your favourite TV shows

2007-02-08T13:10:00.000-05:00

If you are interested in downloading TV shows, either because you missed them or maybe just because your fucking cable company rips you off on access, this might be an interesting site for you:

tvRSS. They offer RSS feeds for all the popular tv shows (and even the not so popular ones). Usually there is a link available within the day after the show airs. Most are ripped from a digital source, so the quality is excellent.

All you need is a bittorrent client to be able to download the files. I use the client that's build in Shareaza, but if you're just looking for a small program for downloading torrents µTorrent is a good choice.

12 Second Cure For Hiccups (?)

2007-02-03T13:12:00.000-05:00

I'm only posting this so I can remember to do this myself next time I have the hiccups. No idea if it works, but it's worth a shot. I hate the damn hiccups!

I decided to do a little stretching while holding my breath so placed my hands above my door frame and leaned forward, and what do you know within seconds the hiccups stopped. You should feel an arch to your back and your abdomen stretching. Continue to push your hands upwards and let the weight of your body send you through the door frame. Maintain this stretched position for 30-60 seconds while holding a big breath.

Full article

Grandpa's having fun with his depends

2007-01-30T17:56:00.000-05:00

In your face!

2007-01-22T20:25:00.000-05:00

I have never seen such a thing before. A sudden wind blows away the advertisement boarding on the sides of this football pitch and knocks out 2 players.

"Guy" drinks a bottle of Vodka in 30 seconds

2007-01-15T18:30:00.000-05:00

This made me have a hangover just looking at it. It's disgusting, so it's the perfect item for my 100th post. Whoohoo! And cheers..

Yet another Saddam movie

2007-01-12T10:35:00.000-05:00

I'm afraid I'm going to get tired of this *real* soon because you know this is not the end of it. They are going to run this shit into the ground. But hey, while it's still funny huh?

Wal-Mart is scary

2007-01-11T17:30:00.000-05:00

I don't know what it is. Every single time I go into a Wal-Mart, regardless of geographical location or time of day, there is a whole bunch of scary ass people in there. I thought maybe Wal-Mart has a secret dress code that says to only wear clothes that look like they've been worn since 1987. Or perhaps there's a secret meeting place for serial killers and child molesters in the back of every store. Either way: there's some freaky-ass fucks walking around in there.

They always seem to be in big groups, crowding around that one item that I dare to pick up at Wal-Mart. It's not shopping anymore, it's almost like a social activity for some of these folks. They're palling around and laughing and it seems like they're having the time of their life's. Of course this is just a guess, since I don't speak retard nor pig talk. I always want to get out as soon as I can. Leaving a Wal-Mart for me feels like being send home after being in the middle of a bloody war for 5 years.

Why go back you ask? Because I need shit, and I need shit cheap.

Movie tip: Idiocracy

Crazy Assss Roller Coaster

2007-01-08T18:41:00.000-05:00

Original page found on Digg.

Lack of updates / best 1000 movies ever / Hunter

2007-01-05T12:41:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know there's a serious lack of updates on this blog. Even more than usual I guess, and I didn't even think that was possible! So to keep you from seeing the same Sadam bullshit which I'm sure you're sick off, here's a list of the 1,000 best movies ever made..according to the NY Times that is.

And here is a photograph of Hunter our house cat, or as we like to refer to him since we had his balls cut off: "The Evil One". It doesn't show in this picture, but trust me, he is.

Sadam's execution - full

2006-12-31T16:37:00.000-05:00

Come on, you know you want to see it you blood thirsty savage you!

Unfortunately for us, Mr.Iraqicameraguy has the runs or something because he can't hold his damn phone steady! But I guess it's better then nothing. I'll let you know when the HD DVD version comes out.

What a ridiculous name for a cat!

2006-11-25T19:11:00.000-05:00

How cocaine is made

2006-11-25T09:42:00.000-05:00

Interesting ingredients!

Smash my fucking PS3!

2006-11-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

Good idea! Especially to do it in front of the people who have been waiting in line for hours & hours. Serves them right for being so..desperate.

Adsense warning

2006-11-17T14:59:00.000-05:00

Adsense qualifies Blogmad's service as "generating invalid impressions"? Not sure why but I got this e-mail in my mailbox today:

I'm such a lady but I'm dancing like a ho' !

2006-11-13T15:58:00.000-05:00

And the politics of fear continue

2006-11-11T16:32:00.000-05:00

Ah, Fox Fucking News and their unbeatable nuance! First, lets just form a narrow minded bitter opinion, based on the following trail of thoughts:

liberal bloggers = meanies who don't like bush = TERRORISTS!

Then, publish this opinion as if it's a serious possiblitity on your 'news' site in the form of a question, so that it no longer looks like fox's opinion. Nope, surely it's just meant to trigger a debate. Not at all to be biased or anything.

It's easy, see?

"Liberal bloggers sending the same message as terrorists" (fox news opinion)

"Liberal bloggers sending the same message as terrorists?" (fox news opinion ...but you decide! really!)

Voila, fair and..balanced! Or something.

Tell them John!

New german sport..

2006-11-10T13:00:00.000-05:00

Microphone swallowing!

Guilty

2006-11-05T07:14:00.000-05:00

(And how very convenient only 2 days before the US Senate elections)

The Iraqi High Tribunal sentenced a combative Saddam Hussein and two other defendants to death by hanging for a brutal crackdown in 1982 in the Shiite town of Dujail. The five-member tribunal met amid heavy security and sweeping curfews, as authorities braced for violent reactions.

Read more

How to deal with idiots

2006-10-30T15:35:00.000-05:00

It's an update. I can't believe it jesus! I know I know, but it's true. And it's not even coherent so you don't have to worry about paying attention.

Now if, like me, you have to deal with a lot of assholes on an average day this may be an interesting article to read.

My girlfriend mentioned the other day how South Park is not what it used to be. I agree with her to a certain extend, so that's why I give you: South Park's very first (pilot) episode! Ah, the good old days!

You play game!? lol!

2006-10-21T10:43:00.000-04:00

It's somewhere here, the sound of this thing drove me nuts!

-Apple Tree-

2006-10-13T17:05:00.000-04:00

"look! an apple tree!"

"yep, that's a pretty nice apple tree"

"apples taste silly"

George Bush is a Dog Molester

2006-10-08T16:21:00.000-04:00

Male Restroom Etiquette

2006-09-30T07:55:00.000-04:00

Where people find the time to create movies like this, I don't know. But it's funny, kinda.

Free TV Episodes

2006-09-27T08:18:00.000-04:00

For if you're bored and you have too much time on your hands! (not me, I just blog about it I swear!) The person that also put online all the episodes of South Park also has the following to offer:

All Simpsons Episodes

All Futurama Episodes

All Family Guy Episodes

All American Dad Episodes

Has been Laden

2006-09-23T13:55:00.000-04:00

hahaha get it? Has-been Laden? What do you mean not funny? Well, fuck you then!

"A senior source with an intelligence service friendly to the United States told CBS News that Saudi Intelligence has collected what it considers to be "very credible information" that bin Laden has been very seriously ill, and that the Saudi services are now suggesting, though not confirming, that they "have a pretty high certainty" that he is dead.

The source added that if he has died as a result of typhoid fever, which comes from exposure to contaminated water and food, it would confirm reports that he has been hiding in a remote area, under very harsh conditions with limited access to medical care."

More here.

We support your war of terror!

2006-09-20T13:06:00.000-04:00

In case you didn't know: Borat is fucking hilarious. If you've seen him before you know what I'm talking about, if not: go see! There's plenty to be found on YouTube, like this skit with Conan O'Brien.

What he saw

2006-09-19T05:22:00.000-04:00

Breaking news: there's nothing in here but paper!

Do you think they pay him enough? The title of this video is "CNN blooper", but I'm assuming it's some form of British humor. I don't know if his bosses will be very appreciative, but joke or not: I think he deserves a raise.

What we saw

2006-09-15T10:24:00.000-04:00


Not for the weak of heart. The events on 9/11/2001 in New York filmed from a new perspective.

I know I know

2006-09-13T07:50:00.000-04:00

there's ads on my site. So sue me bitch! It's all part of my plan to make 10 million dollars!

No really, it's just an experiment, getting myself familiar with Google's plans for world domination and all that. And If it turns out that I won't be making 10 million dollars, the ads are gone.

Tired

2006-09-10T15:51:00.000-04:00

of all the 9/11 documentaries? Take a look here to watch every single South Park episode ever made. You just have to have some good clicking ability to navigate around all the fucking advertisements but you'll get used to that.

We interrupt this program to annoy you

2006-09-08T16:02:00.000-04:00

And make things generally irritating!

R.I.P. Steve 'Crocodile Hunter' Irwin

2006-09-04T07:09:00.000-04:00

What a sad way to die. Wresteling and screwing around with the most dangerous animals in the world, and then getting killed by a Stingray. According to Wikipedia "Dasyatids do not attack aggressively, or even actively defend themselves. When threatened their primary reaction is to swim away." and "Stingrays are usually very docile creatures and very rarely attack humans."

Never again will we see the jamming of thumbs up buttholes to see how much you can piss off an animal.

Rest in peace Mr.Hunter.

Wish I could give you mine..

2006-08-21T14:17:00.000-04:00

Heard it's good

2006-08-19T15:34:00.000-04:00

Propaganda here

2006-08-19T09:55:00.000-04:00

Propaganda there.

Update: not really propaganda but worth linking to never the less: The 5 Most Drug-Fueled TV Appearances Ever. I couldn't agree more with No.3 (Studio Audience on America’s Funniest Home Videos). I believe that people who like that shit should be bombed by an Israeli warplane.

They don't want you to see what's here

2006-08-13T09:33:00.000-04:00

This is Amsterdam on google maps, very close to Central Station. As you can see, something on Google's satellite imagery is blurred out by hand, and not very delicately either I must say.

Question is: what is so important that made someone decide that we are not allowed to see what is there? Especially considering the fact that detailed imagary is available of such futile little buildings such as...oooh let's say: the damn White House!

Or The Pentagon(!):

These are easy to find and extremely detailed. The image of the pentagon can even be zoomed in to the point where you can tell what kind of cars are parked in the inside parking lot.

The only thing that I could find that's most likely on that location in Amsterdam is this ugly piece of shit of a building, called the Post CS building, which functions as a temporary place for the Stedelijk Museum.

So maybe it's not as mysterious as one might think after all: someone just doesn't want to see ugly buildings on google maps.

Good times good times

2006-08-12T15:41:00.000-04:00

"A man can have sex with animals such as sheep, cows, camels and so on. However he should kill the animal after he has his orgasm. He should not sell the meat to the people in his own village, however selling the meat to the next door village should be fine."

- Ayatollah Khomeini - 'Tahrirolvasyleh', fourth volume, Darol Elm, Gom, Iran, 1990.

That's obviously tremendous news for Fred (see my last quality post). Surely he can sell it to the next door village! People there love another man's meat.

Quote found here (shitty geocities site alert).

"Sir, how do you feel about the conflict in the middle east?"

2006-08-10T16:06:00.000-04:00

Because he's worth it

2006-08-04T12:03:00.000-04:00

Blogging Ancient Greece Style

2006-07-29T15:43:00.000-04:00

Hit your face girl

2006-07-17T17:32:00.000-04:00

Lalapalooza!

2006-07-08T07:32:00.000-04:00

"How to spot a Jap" is an "educational" comic strip issued by the American Government during WWII. It was meant as a guide for American soldiers to be able to spot the difference between the enemy (Japanese) an the allies (Chinese) during their stay in China.

I could say something about how this is completely retarded but I think it pretty much speaks for itself.

Click here for the complete comic.

Phil mycrackin with semen

2006-07-01T09:43:00.000-04:00

If you need a good laugh, consider browsing through these images of 419 scammers. Hilarious stuff. Next time I get one of those e-mails and I have some time on my hands I'll see what neat little tricks I can make my scammer do! Also make sure you read this article. They made him carve a keyboard. A fucking commodore 64 keyboard !!

Whatever, I am who I woant!

2006-06-21T17:50:00.000-04:00

It's correct at some points, but not all. Nooo. Not all. Whoohoo, first post of the month!

Chicken soup

2006-05-28T07:55:00.000-04:00

Alright that'll do. Since you're probably almost done laughing about the kid hitting his face on the concrete I decided it's ABUT time for another update.

Today I want to talk to you about stupidity. According to the grand Wikipedia stupidity is defined as follows:

(..) the quality or condition of being stupid, or lacking intelligence. This quality can be attributed to both an individual himself (e.g. John is stupid.) or his actions, words or beliefs (e.g., John's policies are stupid.). The term can thus also refer to poor use of judgment, or insensitivity to nuances in a person who is otherwise intelligent. The determination of who is stupid is relatively difficult, despite attempts to measure intelligence (and thus stupidity) such as IQ tests.

Because claiming something to be stupid is indeed a subjective process, I will give you some examples of stupidity that I've seen lately.

People yelling and kicking at a train for taking off without them in it. Newsflash: if you want to ride the train at 6:12, being there at 6:11 would be a grand start.
Flag burning folks of a certain religion, that claim to hate the west and everything it stands for, yet that are the first to cry for the help of the Red Cross when something goes wrong. It don't go down like that B. Insensitive to nuances? Hardly.
Ignoring the fact that a server scrubbing toilets and right after that making salads for customers to munch on is a health code violation. Gives a whole new flava' to the word "Salad" doesn't it?
Little piggies that are under the impression that they can talk shit behind my back without me knowing about it.
"Managers" that seem to agree that yelling at your employees helps them be more productive. Last time someone tried to pull that off..well, it didn't really work out.
"Managers" that call themselves "managers" even though they do neither have a "College Degree" nor even read a book about the very basics of management.
Pooping out babies when you can't even handle one (are you reading Spears? ARE YOU!?)
Saying condoms don't prevent AIDS. This is coming from the same people that believe the earth is only 6000 years old and there once was a guy with a beard building himself a boat with which he saved all the animals in the world. Hahaha! classic! Considering there's about 5500 species of mammals in the world. That's not even counting the aprox. 10.000 bird species..alright alright, I think I've made my point. Religion is the equivalent of stupidity.

I think I'll go have some chicken soup now.

Congratulate my girlfriend's weblog!

2006-05-09T14:04:00.000-04:00

NOW!

And now you will laugh at this hilarical (not-even-a-word) animated gif:

HAHA! The kid jumped and the pool wasn't even there yet. Serves you right for being born with terrible eyesight, kid!

I realize I rudely deeplinked from this blog, but blogger won't let me host this wonderful bit of entertainment. My apologies beforehand. I also realize apparently has been around for ages but remember what your momma told you: seeing little kids get hurt never gets old!

Because I promised Steffy

2006-04-16T13:57:00.000-04:00

And I'm not gonna say anything about jebus either ;).

Bible stickers

2006-04-16T08:20:00.000-04:00

More like these..

Merry crucifixion and a happy resurrection

2006-04-13T17:40:00.000-04:00

Almost easter, isn't it a joyful time? It's the time we are all thankful at the messiah for getting himself in trouble with those Italians. Last I heard, those bastards stapled him against some cross because these other people told the Italians he was a meany. And then he died but he was like: listen up yo! I ain't dying for nothin', I'm dying so y'all niggas can get some poontang without no being worried for what santa is gonna think of it, I be back in like couple a days. And then some of them said wow, that's cool of you man, let's all start obeying his crotch and carry it around all the time and shoving it in other people's faces. Of course a bunch of them where just hatin' and said: man, fuck you! that hairy nigga is full of shit. In turn that pissed those other people off and they started slaying bitches for not recognizin' and now they are the largest group of organized gansta motherfuckers in the world.

And all this happened like 200 years ago in like, Iran or something. I still don't know what the fuck chocolate eggs have to do with all this shit.

What I do know you is that you should get yourself educated like myself and watch this.

Hey, that's exactly what I was wondering

2006-04-07T08:24:00.000-04:00

More stuff like this here.

I have a blog

2006-04-06T14:48:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah! Completely forgot. Tssk, I should just keep reminding myself every morning when I wake up, maybe that will get me to update it at least once in a while. Or maybe not since I do not really give a rats ass in the first place. Well, now that I'm here anyway I might as well dump the first link I ran into:

Computers and the internet according to 'normal' users

Note how it says normal, in between quotes. It means they're not really normal, funny stuff.

Yeah I know it's not, I was being sarcastic. You're just going to have to deal with it!

Questions

2006-03-15T14:26:00.000-05:00

Everyone should know there is only one higher power that can answer these type of questions: Google. But it's still kinda nice of MSN to put my blog on top don't you think?

The one question that really tickles my nuts is: what answer was it that the person searching for this phrase was expecting?

This is me at work

2006-03-04T16:37:00.000-05:00

Is swear to fucking god, I've never been shocked so much in my goddamn life! Everything I do, whether it's opening a door, turning up the heat or just touching my desk: every single time I get screwed over by physics! This needs to be stopped..

It's not always about you mohammed!

2006-02-24T13:54:00.000-05:00

But this time it is. Watch it, you might learn something. And it's even funny too.

Why Macs Suck

2006-01-27T16:16:00.000-05:00

What can I say? The guy's right!

George's book club

2006-01-19T14:23:00.000-05:00

BOOYA!

Writing f*ck like this doesn't keep you from going to hell

2006-01-14T10:10:00.000-05:00

I don't like it when people write f*ck, sh*t, and c*cks*ckingmanwh*resonofaf*ckingb*tch. News flash: you're not kidding anybody. In no way is this censoring, everybody knows what it says. If you really think using words like fuck, shit, and cocksuckingmanwhoresonofafuckingbitch is offensive then why don't you stop using them? It might make you boring and even more of a frustrated whiny bitch but at least you're not a hypocrite anymore.

Annoying someone = Jail time

2006-01-12T11:05:00.000-05:00

No shit!

Idiot law #3402

Annoying someone on the internet (weblogs, e-mails, websites, usenet, everything!) without providing your true identity is now a federal crime. Yep, only in the US!....read about it here.

The part that amazes me the most that the law itself actually uses the word annoy.

"Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."

Which proves once again that lawmakers are no more intelligent then the people who pack your groceries. Seriously, how are they going to define annoyance? I mean, I'm annoyed on the daily just by surfing Blog Explosion. Hell, I probably annoy the shit out of some of you bitches too! Am I committing a crime now? What a steaming pile of horseshit this law represents! You probably already guessed that you have a Republican't to thank for this. Say thank you! Idiots.

Anyway, read the source.

Oh yeah, and I better sign this with my true identity before someone gets "annoyed" by this..

Yours truly,

SUCK MY NUTS!

New look

2006-01-10T14:36:00.000-05:00

Alright you rotten penis, it's about time you actually start paying attention to what I say. You know, now that I have an all new, all fresh, all scrotum kicking layout! After all: it's what's on the outside that really matters, exactly like your poor mother told you. And it's about time you started listening to your mother too! You know, to be honest we are all very concerned about you ever since you started listening to emo rock and began chatting with your online "friends". Is there something you want to tell me? You're not a HOMOSEXUAL are you!? Please tell me it's not true! Oh god we're all going to hell! Go to your room! Just wait until jesus hears about this!

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, my weblog has a new template. Hurray!

All credits go to my awesome girlfriend!

Who wants to die?

2006-01-09T12:26:00.000-05:00

HA!

A mother in Dallas is one of several parents complaining about a new interactive book for toddlers in which Sesame Street character Elmo asks "who wants to die?" according to a Local 6 News report.

I think it's pretty fucking hilarious, but hey: that's just me! The person that pulled this one off deserves a statue. Brilliant!

More here (be sure to watch the video)

George Carlin

2006-01-04T16:05:00.000-05:00

is fucking hilarious! If you haven't checked this bit out make sure you do, because it's so goddamn funny you'll poop your panties.

...

2006-01-02T10:37:00.000-05:00

Have a safe trip sweetie! And no stinky seats/kids/or generally annoying people..

I love you!

Update: wait, current altitude zero feet? They lied to me!

About the most annoying thing in the world

2005-12-28T12:37:00.000-05:00

To quote my beautiful girlfriend: "It died!".

Quit it!

2005-11-14T14:18:00.000-05:00

Are you one of those stupid people with a stupid blog with a stupid video on it? You know, the kind nobody notices until it's buffered and starts playing automatically scaring the fuck out of you because your volume is up loud? It's usually music videos, and it's usually crap I don't ever want to hear. Let alone when I didn't ask for it.

What makes people think this is a good idea? Just because of the fact that it's a technical possibility to have a video stream automatically every time you load your blog, doesn't mean you should! You tard! The same goes for audio: if I didn't ask for it, I don't want to fucking hear it.

The worst thing is people like that are so proud of it too. Like it's an achievement of some sort. "Look at the new video of U2 that's playing 40,000 pixels down below in my overly linked-up and buttoned up sidebar...isn't it the shit?" How about no, fuckface? I tell you one thing you achieved. You achieved my fucking foot up your ass and an instant spot on the infamous "do not view again" list.

Fruit

2005-11-12T15:32:00.000-05:00

Man, I hate fruit! It's fucking hard work. I've never understood why people eat it. You can just as well take vitamin pills and get it over with. Ever tried to peel an orange? Good, then I hope you realize now it's a bunch of horseshit.

To support my statement here's a quote from Ocean's Eleven..because we all know the real facts of life aren't learned from our parents, or the bible..you learn them from movies.

Rusty: What's with the orange?
Saul: My doctor says I need vitamins.
Rusty: So why don't you take vitamins?

Fruit is for people with too much time on their hands.

I rest my case.

Read this, bitches

2005-11-10T12:22:00.000-05:00

I'm reading Choke right now by Chuck Palahniuk, I thought this was an interesting passage. It made me think. Of course all credits go to the author and to my amazing girlfriend for having such an excellent taste in books. Well, she has an excellent taste in everything actually! Are you jealous yet? Well you should be!

People had been working for so many years to make the world a safe, organized place. Nobody realized how boring it would become. With the whole world property-lined and speed-limited and zoned and taxed and regulated, with everyone tested and registered and addressed and recorded. Nobody had left much room for adventure, except maybe the kind you buy. On a roller coaster. At a movie. Still, it would always be that kind of faux excitement. You know the dinosaurs aren't going to eat the kids. The test audiences have outvoted any chance of even a major faux disaster. And because there's no possibility of real disaster, real risk, we're left with no chance for real salvation. Real elation. Real excitement. Joy. Discovery. Invention.
The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom.
Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace.
Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better.

Dutch hater!

2005-11-09T09:38:00.000-05:00

Usually I take whatever Fox "journalists" are saying with a grain of salt. Fox is a right wing propaganda machine spreading half truths and cheap rhetoric across the narrow minded god fearing part of America. I usually just smile about it knowing that people are gonna be people, and dumbasses are gonna be dumbasses.

But this time I have to say something. In this article one John Gibson takes up for the Alabama governor and Natalee Holloway's mother for calling Americans to boycott Aruba. They think this is a reasonable reaction for not putting enough effort into finding out what happened to the poor American white girl.

I quote: "The Aruban authorities and the government of the Netherlands have acted as though Beth Holloway lost a camera in Aruba, not a daughter."

What the fuck!? - I say.

What would be the Dutch reasoning for that? I mean, the Dutch have always been a faithful ally of America. What would the authorities have to gain by purposely not trying to solve this mystery? Nothing! Didn't the Dutch authorities send in F16 fighter jets with heat sensors to track her? Why, yes they did. You tell me the last time that happened when a person was missing in the US, or anywhere in the world for that matter. (Let alone a camera...)

Also, I think it's a pretty arrogant reaction to blame The Netherlands' criminal justice system. Especially since you're living in a country with a significantly higher crime rate.

"I'm stuck here. Can't get on that plane to Aruba. Funny my feet seem to find my way to a plane that goes somewhere else."

Oh yeah, I'm sure they're going to be so impressed by that! Judging from Mr. Gibson's one sided view on this case (and a lot of others for that matter) he's never been outside of the United States in the first place. Either that or he deliberately chooses to be ignorant. According to his reasoning, every time lets say an Australian person gets missing in the United States, Australia should boycott the United States.

Wouldn't it be possible that there really isn't enough evidence at the moment? Could it be that all of this charade is just a way of getting the attention away from the real problems, inside the US? People are disappearing everywhere in the world on a daily basis. Not just white Americans girls. Why is this case so much more important to a lot of people? Oprah, Dr.Phil, O'Reilly? It's so goddamn two faced! All of these people that sit there and cry on national TV about what a tragedy it is? They all have shadow agenda's. The next morning the only thing they care about is their ratings.

They make me fucking sick.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying Joran van der Sloot and those tupac brothers (or whatever the fuck their name is) are innocent. They don't look innocent to me either. But the facts are that you have to have good evidence to convict someone. I'm sure they'll be convicted once the investigation is rounded up.

What I am saying is this: for everybody that thinks it's a good idea to boycott Aruba and/or Holland: stop being such a goddamn hypocrite about the whole thing. There's thousand of kids missing in the US at the moment, and while a lot of those kids turn up, a high number of them is never to be found again, with their offenders walking free.

Same thing. But it's a lot easier to point the finger at someone else isn't it?

I'm glad to say only a small part of Americans have seem to lost any sense of reasoning. I know there are a lot of people out there that feel the same way as I do.

Alright, so far for having an opinion. The next update will probably involve completely random bullshit again. YAY!

Since everybody else is doing it

2005-11-06T15:17:00.000-05:00

Creepy!

2005-11-02T07:13:00.000-05:00

Alright alright, to all those offended republicans/christians/hairy nuts out there, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. To make it up to you I would like to entertain you with the following: This car ad from Hungary has something very strange wrong with it. At the end of the movie clip there's a strange voice talking. It's really quiet but it's definitely there. See for yourself!

And I know what you're thinking! But this is not one of those things where you turn up the sound to make sure you can hear good and right when you're all concentrated and shit something comes screaming right up in your face so you'll shit your pants. Nope. This is nothing like that.